September 10, 2012 § Leave a comment
Every sunny moment, almost without fail, when I look out my front window, there’s a rabbit snuggled up in the same lump of grass next to the sidewalk. He’ll spend hours there, basking in the glow of the morning or the evening sun. I hadn’t thought much about him until one day my roommate commented, “Did you notice he sits in the exact same spot every time? It’s like he’s made the perfect groove in the ground to fit his little bunny body.”
And so he has. He was there again this afternoon when I got home. Cuddled up and catching the last few rays of the waning summer sunlight. I headed out onto the front porch to watch him a little while longer. As I stepped onto the stoop, he tensed a little, but he wasn’t running from his treasured dip in the ground unless he absolutely had too. Not wanting to disturb his September afternoon rest, I quietly headed back inside and contemplated him further from the front window.
I then decided he had picked a pretty sweet spot to make himself at home. Besides the obvious, a house with two of the world’s best roommates, it really was a nearly ideal groove in the ground – he fit so perfectly. I wonder how many other spots he’s crouched in before he found this one? I’m honoured that it’s our house he’s chosen for his perch because I’ve made it mine too and I’ve got to say, it’s the bees knees.
How important is it that we each carve out our own little space in the world? Our own niche, own hideaway? Whether it’s somewhere fully exposed or tucked way back from prying eyes, everyone and everything needs a place where they feel at home. A place they can come back to and feel safe from the roar and rustle of the outside world.
With shifting family dynamics, jobs and even my own inner self over the last five to eight years, it’s taken me quite some time to find a haven I’m comfortable curling up in again. But I think I’ve finally found it. A place in time I’d like to stop and enjoy for more than a passing moment or two. I did a faery card reading last night, and one of the cards I pulled up was called The Guardian at the Gate. It stands for “passages to new life. Openings. Gatekeeping.” And the meaning behind the card:
“We are embarking on a new phase of our lives, and there will be no going back once this gate has been passed. That is the kind of transition the Guardian at the Gate leads us to – always to irrevocable change.”
I can’t help but think having my own two legs to stand on, firmly rooted in my own sweet spot, is what’s helped me be ready for whatever this next phase is. I’ve felt it coming for a long time now, I just didn’t know when it would hit. But here we are, maybe one or two more corners to round… and my next chapter shall begin.
November 2, 2009 § 9 Comments
The search for myself is a long one. I keep finding myself in so many different places and at so many different times that I wonder when I’ll stop and stand still for a moment… or if I’m destined to keep moving.. and keep myself in search of me along the way.
I once had a pretty specific belief about life. I always believed that things would work themselves out how I had envisioned them. The belief in whatever I was working towards just had to be strong enough. If it was a relationship, my love just had to be deep enough. If it was work, my desire had to be true enough to keep me motivated. But somehow, what I pictured would come true.
People talk so much about life defining moments and how you don’t really know you’re in one until after it’s passed you by. I think I’m in one right now, at my laptop, writing this blog post. I’ve just finished writing up some other draft posts. And there’s this feeling in my gut that nothing will be the same after tonight.
My life defining moments in my mere 27.5 years on earth have been few… in fact, there are two:
My first big trip overseas without my parents: I went to Indonesia when I was 14 to visit a childhood friend who had moved there with her parents. The experience of such a different culture in and of itself inspired further trips and led to my BComm with a major in International Business and a further desire to wander the globe.
The death of my brother in 2004: If ever there’s a way to flip somebody’s world upside down, it’s to experience the death of a sibling so young. Not that I have any experience with losing a sibling when I’m older… but this event rocked me to my core and has influenced every single decision I’ve made since then.
The 2nd moment I would say has brought me the most mileage. In the last 5 years, there hasn’t been a single aspect of my life that hasn’t been influenced by him in some way. And yet, I continue to search, and I won’t stand still. I often wonder if this is a direct result of that, and if someday someone will be able to stop me dead in my tracks and to be happy and content with where I’m at… or if that has forever shaped the way I view life, and my continual search for something more. Finding purpose in my life, if you will.
I’m not sure what the outcome will be, but one thing I know, is that I’m continuously finding moments where I feel like I’m exactly where I need to be. And it’s always in different situations and with different people, but that keeps me going… and because my circumstance is always changing, it keeps me in search of myself.
It’s also changed the shape of my belief on life. There’s more to it. But finding a happy and fulfilling life for me is about discovering the things I didn’t know about myself, finding the gifts I have to offer the world and maximizing that contribution, and being flexible and nimble enough to change my responses and actions based on the situation around me. We’ve only got one shot at the life we’re living… what are you doing with yours?