March 8, 2021 § 2 Comments
We’ve been writing in this space for nearly 11 years to develop content for an inspirational/motivational book(s) and that remains our focus. There haven’t been many posts in the last couple of years. That’s not because we’ve run out of topics. Far from it.
We’ve both found ourselves wrapped up in life but it’s also a sign there’s ample material to do more than one book, an online publication – or both.
As a way of getting back on track for 2021 and moving towards our goal, we’ve decided to compose our first blog together. We’ve written many complementary pieces and commented on each other’s posts, but we’ve never actually co-authored a blog.
In this post, we’ll discuss knowing your purpose. In the past, we’ve touched on purpose in a couple of different ways, including the concept of living with purpose.
What made you want to write a blog about finding your purpose?
D: It was the quote below that caught my eye and prompted me to suggest to Wendy we write about purpose together. It really resonated with me, partly because it contains my first name but mostly it reflects how I see myself living.
“Work for a cause David, not for applause.
Remember to live your life to express, not to impress, don’t strive to make your presence noticed, just make your absence felt.”
― Grace Lichtenstein, Inside Real Estate: The Complete Guide to Buying and Selling Your Home, Co-Op, or Condominium
It’s not clear who the David is that’s being referenced, but it had me reflecting, once again, on what my role is in life.
W: For me, I’m at a stage in my life where I feel like I’m redefining my purpose. Back in 2014, I departed on the journey of a lifetime. I took a two-year sabbatical and travelled across 18 countries. It was something on my bucket list for much later in life, but a very big goal that I had geared most of my efforts towards preparing for. Having the opportunity to accomplish it 30 years before I intended, coupled with the experiences I had and people I met along the way, left me with some pretty big questions to answer when I got home. Amongst them being, “Why am I here? What is my purpose?”
Purpose is a big topic and takes on varying meanings for different people. What does it mean to you?
D: For me, purpose is having an influence on other people and events to improve situations, better lives. Coming to terms with that has helped me to understand relationships and why things happen in the way they do. It doesn’t always make negative outcomes easier but it can help you move forward, guide you on what to do next and help you determine what you should do to meet goals.
W: I think there are two sides to the meaning of purpose, or rather a more physical purpose versus one’s sense of purpose. You can do something on purpose, meaning intentional, and you can do something with purpose, meaning on point and aligned with your values, aspirations and overall direction in life.
How do you know when you’re on your purpose? What do you do if you feel like you’ve wandered or fallen away from it?
D: I’ve come to realize that I’m a mentor, someone who encourages others to do their best, to consider all the possibilities and to make the most of opportunities, whether it’s as a parent, a husband, a supervisor, a colleague or as a volunteer leader. I’m meant to be a supporter on the home front, in business and in the community – getting behind important causes and lending my skills where they best fit.
On a professional level, that means being a storyteller, whether it’s doing a feature story on an individual or helping an organization shine.
I’m here to be a positive spirit, motivating others to look at the brighter side of life, to connect people and build community.
Ultimately, my purpose is to leave the world in a better place than I found it.
It’s been increasingly easy to identify my purpose by recognizing when I’m not living it –those times when I get drawn into toxicity in online discussions or conversations with people who know they can set me off in person – and do if I’m not careful.
W: I have some very physical/emotional responses I look for to help guide me to ensuring I’m on purpose, especially right now while I’m still defining and refining my direction, the impact I want to make and what I want my life to mean. When I relax more, when something or someone makes me smile instantaneously, when my eyes light up at a suggestion – these are all the tell-tale signs I use to show me I’m on point. I guess you could boil it down to following my bliss. Being on purpose means doing the things and spending time with the people who make me feel the best.
When I’ve wandered off from or fallen away from my purpose, I can feel the discord. I feel tense, uncertain, untrusting, and lost.
How do you find your purpose if you’ve lost it? What advice would you give others seeking their purpose?
D: When I recognize I’m off purpose, I remind myself I’m of more value when I’m aligned with like-minded people, working toward a common goal or finding a new volunteer opportunity. My advice is to take a step back when you feel off and re-evaluate. Even small things like taking my dog for a walk in the middle of the day clears my mind and I’m refocused on what’s important.
W: When I’m feeling off my purpose, I feel awful. That’s when a self-care day often comes into play where I can take some time to step back and breath, pinpoint what’s going wrong. I don’t try and make a plan to change it though. I’ve learned that once I pinpoint the source of what’s pulling me off purpose, I look back for the things and people that make me feel on purpose.
Like David, reminding myself of my value and what characteristics help me align with other like-minded people is especially helpful. If I’m too overwhelmed or distraught by something to get there, I quite literally start with a nap followed by 10-15 minutes of meditation and then some journaling to help me process whatever is going on in my head and give me some much needed perspective to get back on track.
You get more of what you focus on, right?
Can you have more than one purpose? Or does your purpose change? How do you support that?
D: I’ve reflected on my own purpose as life has changed, from being a husband and father to job changes, individual and team successes, accolades and awards, operating a communications firm, volunteering, and living life, in general.
In more recent years, I’ve had a renewed sense of accomplishing my purpose. When I relaunched my communications consultancy in 2018, some of my initial employees in the late 1990s and early 2000s passed along congratulations and reminded me I’d hired them for their first jobs. They shared their gratitude for giving them a chance.
There’s been great joy in imparting career and life advice to our son and encouraging my wife to pursue greater heights in her pottery hobby.
W: I do think it’s possible to have more than one purpose, but I think they’ll have varying degrees of importance. I think, generally, people have one main purpose (or theme) for what they want their life to be about and then other, more specific purposes come in to play to support that. “Sub-purposes” to play on David’s love of storytelling.
For some people, I think they’ve been blessed with a strong sense of purpose that stays with them their entire lives. For others, I think our purpose changes as we change and grow. I know I resonate more with the latter. My purpose continues to evolve as I deepen my understanding of myself and what I’m capable of.
Supporting an evolving definition of my purpose is literally like trying to make sure the pants I bought 10 years ago still fit… or acknowledging that it’s time for a new pair. It’s, at minimum, having an overall goal or theme for my life and then making my plan of action each day or week to check in to make sure it stills fits. If it doesn’t feel right anymore, I need to determine if I’m off track or if it doesn’t fit and choose my next steps accordingly.
My purpose setting is not like goal setting where it should be quantifiable and measurable. If a person wants to make it that way, that’s up to them. But for me, I feel my way forward where my purpose is concerned and my only requirement is that whatever my decision, it feels good to me. This also requires a good degree of surrender and self-compassion because it’s a continual work in progress and I don’t think it’s one that ever ends.
What are the benefits of having a strong purpose? How about the dangers of not having one?
D: It helps me live with focus and to get back on track when I’ve gotten derailed. Businesses and organizations having values, vision and mission statements by which to live and it’s good to have a compass.
W: Purpose gives me a guiding light to live my life and make decisions by. Much like David, knowing my purpose helps me find the right organizations to work with to ensure I’m doing work I feel good about and identify the kinds of people I want to spend more time with.
I don’t know that everyone feels the same need for a strong sense of purpose. I’m someone who needs to connect into a bigger meaning to find my reason to get out of bed in the morning. Without a strong sense of purpose, I think I run the risk that when I get to the end of my life I’ll look back at it and think, “What a waste.” I want to feel like I have juiced every bit of human experience I can while I’m here.
What about you? If any of the questions above resonate for you to answer, add them to our discussion in the comments below!
November 12, 2019 § 2 Comments
A few months ago, Larry Arrance, an employment workshop facilitator colleague in Kelowna, B.C., put out this question on LinkedIn: “If you’re not spreading hope, what are you spreading?”
I’ve been pondering that question a lot since then and now is a great time to explore the subject. Co-author Wendy Peters and I have reached the 10-year anniversary of The Muse and Views, created to build content for an inspirational book(s). Larry’s query fits perfectly into our theme.
I asked Larry recently to spell out what his take was on the question. He responded, “For myself, I’ve found hope to be a powerful catalyst to get people to be open to positive changes. A hopeless situation or attitude causes people to take no action because it’s hopeless – so why bother?”
Hope on its own is an empty word unless there is action behind it. If I say, I hope to on holidays next July, there is no chance of that happening without planning a trip, booking accommodations and travel arrangements and setting the time and taking other necessary steps to leave home.
What Larry is talking about is a belief that positive things can and will happen through our own actions and attitudes – and further, that we will exude confidence to others.
As we head into 2020, it’s easy to feel less positive – there is economic, social and political upheaval in our country and around the globe.
However, the late great radio broadcaster Paul Harvey once reminded us, “In times like these it helps to recall there have always been times like these.”
As a communications consultant 20 years ago at this time, I was preparing content for a client in preparation of a potential Y2K catastrophe.
Guess what? Those communications materials weren’t needed. We moved smoothly into the Year 2000 without a global online crisis.
Are we going to get every job we apply for? No. Sometimes that’s a good thing. Do we get every house we put an offer on? No. We are disappointed but then find another and make a home out of it with the friends and family we choose to enjoy it with. Do unforeseen circumstances, good and bad, occur? Of course. How we react either way is what matters.
I appreciate the spirit of a quote by author Louisa May Alcott when she remarked, “Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow them.”
As this author of Little Women alluded to, not everything is going to go our way, whether on the home front or in the workforce. However, how we answer Larry’s question has implications in our personal and professional lives.
Negativity hangs over us like the smoke those of us in Western Canada are all too familiar with from wildfires. It sucks the life out of you and you feel uninspired.
There is a much greater probability of finding success and opportunities if we have a positive outlook and encourage others. If we’re negative and spreading discontent to those around us, the people who come into our lives will tend to be miserable and down on life, too.
Friend Lynsey Dalen has a phrase to describe this: “Your vibe attracts your tribe.”
Lynsey is an inspiring, driven woman who I’ve watched with admiration advance from radio advertising sales to associate advisor at Neil & Associates.
Earlier this year, she also launched Elle Bell Sales Co. which provides online sales training designed specifically for women. In addition to being a wife and mother of two girls, Lynsey is the women’s clothing buyer for S3 Boardshop.
Lynsey responded with tribe line after I posted a meme on Facebook that I told her reminded me of her actions and style. It cited Five Types Of People To Surround Yourself With: The Inspired, The Motivated, The Open Minded, the Passionate, The Grateful.
Indeed, part of your success in spreading hope is having other people to hand your torch to – like-minded people.
I asked Lynsey to share her thoughts on Larry’s question and the Vibe attracting Tribe statement. Here’s what she says:
“I’ve always been a believer in the law of attraction and that you get back what you put into the universe.
Our energy and our mindset matter because we have the ability to control those things. We can’t control what happens to us, but we can always control how we respond to those things. I 100% believe that happiness is a choice and it has to be a conscious one or else it’s too easy to get caught up in what’s happening around us and to soak up the negative energy of others. It’s not always easy to choose happiness but the result is always worth the effort.
That being said, I try to be conscious of the energy I’m putting out to the people in my life. If I were a negative, pessimistic and discouraging person, those are the type of people I would have in my life because they would feed off that energy. However, I CHOOSE to be a positive, optimistic and encouraging person and so those are the people I have attracted into my circle. Your vibe absolutely attracts your tribe and we are all the product of the people we spend the most time with so I think it’s important to choose wisely. Time is a limited resource and I have zero interest in wasting it!”
I thank Lynsey for sharing her powerful words. There is always hope. Will you join friends like Lynsey, Larry and I to help spread it? Together, we can make a difference.
May 26, 2019 § Leave a comment
Last September I joined a HIIT (high intensity interval training) gym in Calgary called The 80/20 Hub. Three times a week over the last 6 months, I was through the door at 6am for a hard 45 minutes to start my day. Aside from strengthen our body, the gym’s main coach and owner, Deb Sousa, also encourages us to work our mental muscles, pushing past our own brain barriers to bring us past the finishing line rather than giving in just shy of our goal.
In the final round of our sessions, you’ll often here her words of encouragement:
“Come on, guys! This is it. Your last ten. Make them your best ten!”
Today, I ran my first race in over a decade with the Jugo Juice 10Km race as part of the Calgary Marathon. I’ve been sick the last couple of weeks and not training. As race day drew nearer, I was questioning myself as to whether the race would chase away this head cold, or help it settle in for a longer spell. By Saturday, I had decided it didn’t matter either way. I signed up for the race in January, and whether I was going to walk the whole thing or if I could muster the energy for a jog, I was going to make it through.
When you run frequently, 10km does not seem like a long way to go. Heck, even on a good hike day, my dog Beiken and I can come home with some energy to spare. But I haven’t been out hiking, nor have I been training much in the last 4-6 weeks for this. Towards the halfway point in the race, my breathing figured itself out, but my calves were starting to tighten. Around the 8km marker, they were screaming for mercy. Without endangering myself for a pulled muscle, I slowed my pace, but I kept up the slow jog as much as I could.
Not willing to give up, but definitely feeling like maybe I had done enough and earned the right to walk the last km, Deb’s voice popped into my head. “Come on Wendy, 1km to go. Make your last ten your best ten!” And while I was nowhere near the pace I started with, I persevered in my little jog, picking up whatever steam I could on my way to that finish line.
Like I said, my speed was nowhere near what I had started with. In fact, I don’t think you could categorize me anywhere close to “speedy”. But the mental strength I gathered to make that last km happen when I was ready to take a leisurely stroll through the last 10% of the course brought me into that zone of being at my best.
See, your “best” isn’t always about the same physical measurements. You won’t always beat your previous time or score. For me, it’s more about pushing myself just a little bit further when it would easier to take my foot off the gas and coast through the final stage when I’m “almost” there.
I’ve been coasting a lot lately in many areas of my life. Maybe it’s time to pick up the pace a little and make my next ten, my best ten.
December 9, 2018 § 1 Comment
“I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do.”
– Edward Everett Hale
I was surprised, honoured, flattered and somewhat humbled last week when I was recognized as a 2018 Outstanding Volunteer at the International Volunteer Day Celebration Breakfast in Grande Prairie.
While I’ve volunteered steadily throughout my adult years, I much prefer being behind the scenes. Just as with my professional life, I’m not shy about taking the stage, but I often joke that I have a face for radio, just not the voice.
Ultimately, my preference is in the doing. It never occurred to me there’d be a community award for something that gives me personal satisfaction, has added to my leadership abilities, and has provided me with countless wonderful friendships.
While I was in the spotlight, I must, in turn, thank the work supervisors and colleagues who first encouraged me to invest personal time in the community. I also extend gratitude to everyone who has served with me along the way to achieve successes together. I appreciate the acknowledgement from Grande Prairie Volunteer Services Bureau and the role it plays in celebrating community volunteers.
Individuals who’ve invested far more time and energy into important causes than I have also motivated me. I would want my own legacy to be that I’ve motivated others to give back in some way.
The quote above illustrates that everyone can offer something back to his or her community. Every contribution will have some impact. Volunteers are the lifeblood of every city, town and village.
There are endless needs and opportunities big and small in every neighbourhood, school, church and municipality.
Some of my volunteer positions have been for a short duration – doing publicity for the 1986 Alberta Senior Games in Grande Prairie. Others have taken a long-term commitment, including my current role for the past five years as Chair of the Grande Prairie Council for Lifelong Learning.
I’ve also promoted musical theatre, chaired a parent council, served on economic development and chamber of commerce committees, worked on the executive of my son’s swim team, and chaired the Grande Prairie Volunteer Services Bureau.
When asked why I choose to volunteer, my response is that I accept opportunities where I see that my involvement will make a difference to an organization or an individual. Over the years, I’ve been able to do both.
Serving as a Big Brother was one of my first volunteer positions. I took my Little Brother on camping trips, tobogganing and to his hockey games. Although this experience was cut short because a change in employment had me moving across the country, I know we both gained from the relationship. It certainly helped prepare me for parenthood a couple years later.
My work with the Council for Lifelong Learning is particularly rewarding. While serving on the Board is a governance role, we have the opportunity to visit classrooms where it’s not unusual to see students from multiple countries learning together as they get a new lease on life in Canada.
The impact of volunteering in Canada has not gone unnoticed.
A report by the Conference Board of Canada this year – the Value of Volunteering in Canada – notes volunteering provides many important services that affect the lives of Canadians—supporting Canadians in need and contributing to sports, arts, cultural, and environmental causes are just some examples.
“Services provided by volunteers not only help to strengthen and empower individuals and communities, but also benefit the volunteers and their employers by expanding their experience, skills, and social and business networking opportunities.
- We estimate that volunteers added over two billion hours to Canada’s work effort in 2017.
- This volunteer contribution is valued at $55.9 billion in 2017—equivalent to 2.6 per cent of GDP.
- If volunteering were an industry, it would employ nearly as many people as those currently working in education.”
Who knows what my next volunteer role will be. Without doubt, community involvement will always be part of my life.
One of my favourite sayings sums up well what volunteering means to me. Winston Churchill is quoted as saying, “We make a living by what we get but we make a life by what we give.”
October 8, 2018 § Leave a comment
Many people shy away from community involvement because they don’t see how one person can make a difference. Sexsmith, Alberta, said goodbye Saturday to someone who will leave a powerfully lasting impression on many, including me.
I admired Mayor Claude Lagace greatly.
Claude was not an imposing figure. Nor was he renowned as an orator. He was a man of few words. His actions spoke much louder than talk. But when he did speak up, people listened.
His humility was such that he didn’t want a funeral yet his passion and dedication were so strong that few knew he was battling cancer for the last eight years.
I certainly had no idea when I last saw him in June at a regional municipalities’ event I hosted on behalf of the City of Grande Prairie. Even as his health was waning, Claude was there to lead a delegation from the Town.
I’m glad Claude’s family and Council colleagues over-ruled him about having a service. He worked tirelessly for his residents and represented his own municipality fiercely. At the same time, Claude recognized the importance of initiatives that would benefit residents across the region.
His contributions deserved to be recognized.
He was beloved by colleagues on Council, even those who he waged heated discussions with. Councillor Jonathan Siggelkow told those attending Saturday’s service that, “This is Claude’s town.”
He told me at the reception following the service that it wouldn’t be the same without Claude. “He kept us all together.”
Municipal employees shared that the Mayor treated them as an extension of his family – to the point he’d pull pranks on them – and Chief Administrative Officer Rachel Wueschner said she sees him as a father figure because of the care and example of service he provided to staff.
In her remarks at the service, Rachel noted the Mayor wouldn’t mince words when he wanted to make a point. An “I don’t give a shit” would be followed by a long list of to do’s and he’d be sure to take charge as needed.
“I sometimes would bite my tongue if I felt the town had been slighted because I knew Claude would go on the warpath, even if that meant going to a Minister,” she said.
I’ve worked with elected officials throughout my career as a journalist, employment in school board and municipal communications roles, work in an intergovernmental affairs position, and as a communications consultant. His class, integrity, character, and respectfulness were second to none.
Claude came across as a humble yet strong leader – one who welcomed you to his community as if beckoning you to his home.
He had a gleam in his eye and a wry sense of humour, credited for helping him stickhandle through arguments with his wife, Noreen.
Rod Masterson, who emceed the service, eloquently explained leadership via scripture.
“The greatest among you will be your servant.” – Matthew 23:11
Daughters Michelle and Laurie found a meaningful verse and dedicated it to their Father in the memorial card for the service.
A snippet could be equally applied to Claude’s commitment to his community:
“He never looked for praises
He was never one to boast
He just went on quietly working
For the ones he loved the most …”
Claude was Mayor of Sexsmith for the last 11 years and also served nine years on Council.
He was first on the scene during emergencies, whether these be fires, flooding or train derailments and was often the last to leave, even if that meant staying late into the night. He would drive around the community to ensure everything was operating smoothly and took great pride in his role with Citizens on Patrol to help ensure resident safety.
Claude was instrumental in the development of many projects in Sexsmith including the medical clinic, spray park, fire hall and, most recently the Lakeview Seniors Home in Clairmont among countless others. In 2012, he was the recipient of the Queen Elizabeth II Diamond Jubilee Medal, for his dedicated service to his community.
Claude was involved in all aspects of the community, big and small. How appropriate that he built the flag stand at the Sexsmith Civic Centre.
As much energy as Claude invested in his community, his family was the recipient of even more devotion.
Twelve-year-old grandson Becker Olson spoke of the influence Claude has had on him: “I always think, “What would Grandpa do?”
I told Councillor Siggelkow that although Claude would no longer be at the Council table, Councillors could be sure their ears would be burning as he influences them from above.
It was only fitting that the video tribute at Mayor Lagace’s service featured the Frank Sinatra song, My Way.
You certainly did do it Your Way, Mayor Lagace and we’re all better for it.
January 29, 2018 § 3 Comments
“It’s the circle of life,” Simba.
That line from the 1994 movie The Lion King comes to mind whenever I think of how our son, Peter, was born just a few weeks after my father passed away on Jan. 28, 1989.
I thought of this Sunday, the 29th anniversary of Bob Olinger Sr.’s death (photo left). Even after all this time, I still consider how my life has been shaped by my father, either in our likeness or how I chose to be different from life lessons, intended on his part or just from observation.
The entry on my On This Day for Sunday on Facebook six years ago reads: “So, it was 23 years ago about this time of night that we received a call from my older brother that my dad had died just after watching his first NHL game (live), a match between the Calgary Flames and Chicago Blackhawks. I vowed that I would work just as hard as he did, but to enjoy life a whole lot more. I’ve been to my share of professional hockey, baseball and basketball games and a lot of concerts. I’ve worked hard and played hard. When I think of him, I am reminded of the Alice Morse Earle quote, ‘Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That is why they call it the present.’”
Now, Peter is the age I was when Dad passed away and I reflect on what impact I have made on my son. He loves sports and music as much as I do and think he’s learned more about balancing work and life through seeing me putting in longer hours, particularly in the years I operated my business. He’s also kind-hearted and peace-loving. Like his father, he enjoys a good debate and is likely to side with the underdog.
I’m proud of the person Peter become and that he’s forging his own way in the world.
For Fathers’ Day 2012, which fell just after what would have been my father’s 90th birthday, I wrote this blog, a special note to my Dad: https://themuseandviews.wordpress.com/?s=Father
I was inspired to write this blog after a conversation on Twitter with another avid Blue Jays fan, Jenn Smith, who posted a photo of herself and her dad from 1978. He died suddenly four years ago on Saturday.
“It seems so long ago and, yet, like no time has passed at all. I miss him,” she wrote.
When I shared that I continue to reminisce about my Dad, she added, “It still stuns me sometimes how much of an imprint his passing has left on me.”
Steve West, a communications colleague from Winnipeg chimed in: “17 years this month for me. Always remembered, and honoured. Thoughts are with you both.”
Steve and I would go on to compare notes about our fathers and how the song The Living Years by Mike + The Mechanics brings us to tears every time we hear it as it reminds us so much of aspects in our relationships with our dads.
“The song also reminds us about the importance of saying things to each other “(in) the living years” as we don’t get the chance after someone dies,” says Steve. “So powerful!”
I also noted to Steve and Jenn that while our fathers made great impressions on us, other important people in our lives can have everlasting impacts.
The late Darrell Skidnuk, who passed away in April 2004, was the best man at our wedding. I always admired Darrell for his character, which never wavered, even when battling cancer or facing tough issues on the job. He was a devoted father, loving husband, and community builder.
When faced with dilemmas, I often wonder what Darrell would do, just as I used to think of turning to my father for advice. Sometimes I would go to do so after his passing and then realize he was gone.
Darrell and my Dad are just two salt-of-the-earth people I consider to be great role models.
Here’s to Jenn, Steve and all of you who’ve lost that important go-to individual(s) in your lives. May you always cherish the memories and make those people proud in return.
And here’s to you Dad for continuing to be there in spirit.
December 26, 2017 § Leave a comment
Nova Scotia. Check
Prince Edward Island. Check.
In September, our family vacation brought us two steps closer to my bucket list entry of visiting every part of Canada. In the waning days of 2017, Canada’s sesquicentennial, I’ve been thinking of what a magical holiday this was.
Having been to many areas of the country, I’m well aware of the vastness of our great land. The fact that people march to a different pace on the east and west coasts is well documented. There are distinct accents from east to west.
What made this trip particularly special was the realization of just how connected we are.
The Airbnb we stayed at Ingonish Ferry on Cape Breton Island was recommended to us by a contact here in Grande Prairie who stayed there as a child. Her family is friend with the owner.
Seafoam Lavender Farm in Nova Scotia was suggested to us by a friend from that province who is now a neighbour.
We stopped at a cidery in the Malagash area. The owner’s mom is a friend here in Grande Prairie.
A colleague at work from Prince Edward Island had asked me to find rhubarb wine when we were at the Jost Vineyards in Nova Scotia. They didn’t stock that flavour but through the ability to text, it was determined blueberry wine would be a suitable alternative.
We made a random stop at gas station in Bethune, Saskatchewan and the attendant was from an area of Ontario we’d just driven through so we enjoyed comparing notes for a few minutes.
Even where there are differences, we can figure out how to connect, especially when there’s a mutual interest.
We stopped at a fromagerie in Quebec. The clerk did not speak English. My limited French was last practised in the mid-1990s when I took some college classes to keep up with our son who was enrolled in French immersion. Well, I’m also a lifelong, diehard Montreal Canadiens fan so picking up some of Canada’s official second language is bound to occur (not all the words I’ve picked up can be printed here).
Joyce had sent me on a mission to get curds and I’ve yet to meet a piece of cheese I don’t like so after I stocked up, the lady behind the counter and I figured out how to complete my transaction effectively and I was on my way.
Spending a few days in Sault Ste. Marie, visiting friends and former colleagues we hadn’t seen in a few years was another highlight. We’ve been back to the Sault once since returning to Grande Prairie in 2007 after living there for 20 years.
You always know your true-blue friends when you can be apart for several years and when you reconnect, it’s like time had not stopped.
We took furkid Mica along on this cross-country venture. It was truly special to stop at Pancake Bay Provincial Park, just north of the Sault. This campground remains one of our favourite spots and it was a pure joy to see her frolicking along the spectacular beach and splashing in Lake Superior, much like our son had done as a child.
Northern Ontario features some of the most breath-taking scenery in the country. There are also vast distances between communities and large expanses where there is no cell phone service, something most urban dwellers take for granted.
A fatal accident just east of Ignace, Ontario closed the highway for several hours on our way east. We had the choice of staying overnight or taking a long, circuitous route to next targeted stop of Thunder Bay.
We opted to stay the night at a lodging by picturesque Lake Agimac. This was a reminder not long into our vacation to slow down, live one day at a time and enjoy the moment.
It truly was a year of Canadian travel when I add in our trip to Victoria in March to connect with family making a stopover on their way to New Zealand. We got to share some of our favourite spots in B.C.’s capital with them as well as a few locations up Island. On the May long weekend, we had a mini-vacation to the Okanagan.
Canada 150 was an excellent time to celebrate our country by travelling to the west and east coasts. It was wonderful to appreciate even more what Canada offers its citizens and visitors.
Now, I just have to complete the rest of that bucket list by visiting areas yet to be checked off – Newfoundland, the Yukon and Nunavut. Still so much to see and do!
So much more to look forward to!
December 4, 2017 § 1 Comment
At the end of October, I authored a blog that had taken months to complete, and even then, the eventual inspiration came from wanting to pay tribute to a former supervisor. While it was a struggle to finish off, I wasn’t frustrated or discouraged. I knew the piece came together the way it should. It had its time and place.
I was immediately re-energized to start work on another blog that had also been in the back of my mind for some time – and this turn of events was most fitting. I wanted to express how there isn’t necessarily a right time for things to happen in life, whether it’s doing something you’re passionate about like writing, checking off a bucket list item, a career achievement, or a life decision, like when to get married.
Perhaps that spark came from highlighting my memories of Bill Scott, former editor of the Grande Prairie Daily Herald-Tribune, who’d passed away earlier in the month.
It may have also been our mutual joy of writing that reminded me not to focus on how many blogs I write but rather on the fulfillment I get as well as the reason Wendy and I started The Muse and Views eight years ago.
Our goal is to build content from our musings and reader comments for a motivational/inspirational book(s). There’s no doubt we have more than enough writing to fill a couple of books – themes have developed on topics ranging from goal setting to meaningful people to our love of music.
Wendy and I need to meet up again soon to sort through all of our work and go from there.
It will happen in its time. The finished product may not be the traditional book we originally contemplated. It may be an online publication and some podcasts or a combination of mediums. There are no limits to the possibilities. The fact we both continue to write in this space, albeit intermittently, will give rise to more food for thought and means that goal remains very much alive.
Ultimately, we need to decide what success looks like.
American businesswoman Anne Sweeney helps to put things in perspective with this quote: “Define success on your own terms, achieve it by your own rules, and build a life you’re proud to live.”
Writing a book isn’t the only item on my bucket list (I also continue to tinker with the short story on my late dog Jasper who had a penchant for demonstrating he thought he was human). Among other things is my desire to have a flat tummy.
Though that goal is health related, it’s another thing where I have taken steps in the right direction, but admittedly haven’t made a full commitment. I work out twice a week with a personal trainer who even comes by my house to capitalize on the workout equipment in our basement.
Often I finish Thursday’s workout thinking I am going to exercise at least three times by the following Tuesday and typically it turns out to be once or none.
So, to really accomplish that bucket list item, and achieve even higher levels of fitness in the process, I need to work out at least twice more per week.
Again, I could get down on myself for not doing more, but then I ask myself if I was working out a year ago. The answer is no. Were my blood sugars higher? Yes.
So, there is always more we can do toward a goal, but I think of it as success if we continue to move towards that target, whether the steps are large or small.
As Nido Qubein, motivational speaker and president of High Point University said, “Your present circumstances don’t determine where you can go; they merely determine where you start.”
I met Edmonton colleague and friend Elizabeth Severson several years ago at an economic development conference in Yellowknife. She’s documented on Facebook her challenges of staying on course with a healthy regimen.
Here’s a post from Oct. 30 that shows how progress is often an ebb and flow affair: “When I started my weight loss journey a few months ago, I weighed the heaviest I had ever been … I finally said enough is enough and started making some drastic changes to my lifestyle…less junk food, less eating out. More portion control, meal prep, healthier choices and going to the gym. The result of these changes: more energy (for the most part lol), less headaches, less body aches, and not needing as much medication around cold/flu season. I sleep better too!
“The biggest change however is that I am down 16 lbs!! And while I have another 50 lbs to go, I know I can do it! Yes, it’s tough, I have my ups and downs, over-indulge at times, but I am human am trying not to beat myself up over it. I am grateful for the supports I have in my life (my husband, my family and friends) and look forward to being the healthiest version of me.”
Since this post, Elizabeth has shared news of how she’s faring. Sometimes, there have been setbacks but then I encourage her to look at other good things that have happened in the meantime, like her husband getting partial custody of his daughter.
Our success towards goals also have to be put into perspective with what else is happening in life.
For Jackie Dawson, another Edmonton friend, getting married wasn’t something to do just because her friends were getting hitched. If that meant waiting until age 36 to say yes, so be it.
“I could have been married in my 20s, I was proposed to, but I knew I wasn’t ready. I had lots I wanted to do still and I was still trying to figure out who I was,” she says.
But I waited…then I figured it would never happen because I hadn’t met the right guy. Then when I met my fiancé I knew right away that I’d marry him.
I’m glad I waited and didn’t settle. When you know, you know. Some people are lucky enough to find that person early on but I was never 100% on seeing myself with any guy I dated for the rest of my life.”
Jackie and I are both huge sports fans, so I thought it fitting to sum up with this quote by former NBA coach John Wooden who once said, “There’s a choice in everything you do, but in the end, the choice you make, makes you.”
October 16, 2017 § 2 Comments
“The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.”
This quote by author Ralph Waldo Emerson struck a chord recently when I mentioned my last blog to friend Alysha Samec. I had written about adapting to change and growing as a professional and told her I was now considering how my personal side has evolved.
I actually began thinking about this topic in the summer when the Ontario Lottery and Gaming Corporation reunion was held in in Sault Ste. Marie, Ont. I didn’t actually attend because of my work schedule.
However, it was almost exactly 20 years since I left the OLG to start my communications business so I felt a little sentimental.
I also reminisced a lot as a result of getting reconnected with many former colleagues through Facebook at the time and thought about who I was still in contact with and what kept us connected.
In August, we travelled through the Sault on our summer vacation so I had the opportunity to visit a few friends I’d made in my newspaper, lottery and school board days and while operating my communications firm.
As I visited with these people, I considered whether my personal brand had changed over time. If so, would these connections remain just as strong?
Great friendships and business associations endure the test of time – you pick up where you left off as if time hadn’t stopped when you’ve been apart for some time.
I’ve been friends with some people in the Sault for up to 27 years. We stayed connected invariably over shared beliefs and interests.
Alysha asked me if I could define a time when I knew who I am. That’s tough to put a finger on but I think the basic David was formed in my early 20s.
On one hand, I’m much more confident than the guy who it took three weeks to ask out the lady who would become my wife. Now it would take me three seconds.
At the same time, I have always pursued what is really important to me so I had to put my shyness aside to be a news reporter.
I have always known there is something more. Even in high school, I transferred out of a class where I wasn’t being productive to the one that produced the school newspaper, which would lead to my pursuit of journalism – and that newspaper interview that would have me meeting the above-mentioned wife-to-be.
I’m proud of the professional me and happy with David, the person.
Would I do some things differently? Most assuredly so. Do I live with regrets? Never.
A quote from actress Jennifer Aniston sums up my feelings ever so powerfully: “If I could tell my younger self anything, it would be to stop trying to please everyone. You can’t please everyone. All you can do is be yourself and whoever likes you, likes you and whoever doesn’t like you, doesn’t.
“Live your life to the fullest and take chances. Don’t let bullies get to you. Be strong. Just stay true to who you are.”
The late technology legend Steve Jobs had some further great counsel: “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”
These thoughts on personal brand tie back to my professional life. I recently met up with Ryan Townend, CEO and owner of William Joseph Communications, headquartered in Calgary with offices in Saskatoon and Red Deer. He was doing marketing presentations in Grande Prairie where William Joseph has now expanded.
Ryan related he’d gotten contracts on a couple of occasions, in particular, because of his personal/professional brand. In one instance, he worked his butt off over a long weekend to make a presentation and his competitors didn’t respond to a quote request for several days.
I already had a strong affinity for Ryan’s style as it reflects my own work ethic and practices. This just added to my enjoyment of his business philosophy.
In another instance, Ryan received work because he’d personally responded to every person who commented on a social media campaign that went sideways. His demonstrated willingness to handle a sticky situation up front and honestly impressed a client to be.
Ryan’s outlook is simple: “We only have one life to live. Let’s make it a good one!”
All of this tells me that when you’re authentic, either personally or in business, you’ll get connected to the people you really want to be around.
As a side note … I’ve struggled getting fingers to keyboard on this blog for several weeks but wanted to complete it as a tribute to former Daily Herald-Tribune editor Bill Scott who I worked with for 3.5 years in the mid-1980s. He passed away Oct. 3 and his celebration of life was last week.
Bill authored the column Potpourri for more than 45 years. As much as he was an excellent writer and editor, Bill exemplified how you can work hard and play hard. He enjoyed inviting staff to his home and sharing his love for cooking and music. He organized car rallies for employees and always got the hockey pools going. And then, of course, he would hold court on Fridays after work at Dar’s, a popular watering hole back in the day.
Bill also walked the talk when it came to volunteering. That connected with me at the time and I’ve given back to the community in some form or another almost continuously since.
RIP Bill. You were certainly true to yourself. Journalism and Grande Prairie will never be the same.
July 28, 2017 § 1 Comment
“The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry.”
This saying is adapted from a line in a poem entitled: “To a Mouse,” written in 1785 by Robert Burns. It is said that Burns was ploughing his fields and accidentally destroyed a mouse’s nest, leaving the mouse without adequate shelter to survive the winter.
It’s meaning – it doesn’t matter how carefully something is planned, there’s always the possibility that something will go wrong with it.
Over the last several months, I have been stuck in planning paralysis. Everything I looked at, I would envision down the last detail, spending days, if not weeks, coming up with action plans and detailed descriptions and dreams for everything from wall decor ideas for my home to events I thought would be fun to full-blown business and marketing plans.
I kept coming back to wanting an instruction manual as to how I was going to proceed in the coming months, my blueprints to success. The problem was, as much as I was spending time in the dreaming and “planning” of what I wanted, I wasn’t executing on any of it. Six month later, I had moved a couple of rocks, but for the most part I was in exactly the same place as before… minus a few more dollars.
My coach said to me:
“Wendy, you’re such a prairie girl when it comes to your dreams. It’s like you can see the details for miles. Come spent some time in the twists and turns of the mountains and you can’t see around the next bend until you get there.”
I’ve since stopped “planning”. That is, I’ve stopped writing down action steps I’m probably not going to take.
There are some people for which having their instructions written down before they begin their journey works very well for them. They’ve studied their maps, made their routes and know their milestones and points of interest.
What I’ve learned is that I’m not one of those people. But I have also had to learn how to harness my dreaming and scheming and move between the imaginary and the reality of what I’m trying to build.
When I think about how I approached my 18 months of travels, I knew the big broad picture – I was going on an adventure – but I filled in the details as I went. I booked flights a couple of months in advance for when I wanted to switch continents, I booked my accommodations a few days out from my arrival and I decided what to do with my day to day often the day of. The best part – I liked it like that and I still travel that way. Ebbing and flowing in a general direction while I twist and wind my way through interesting stopovers.
Could there be a clearly instruction manual for me on how to proceed than that?
In my experience, my best laid plans often do go awry – or more like they don’t go at all.
What about you? What have you found is your preferred approach to life and planning (or not)?